Turning the page, starting a new chapter in life (in spite of Covid)

 The last few months, since July, have been really busy and full of changes and difficult decisions. My husband and I had been married almost 36 years. The last twenty years his health had slowly declined from his ability to walk upright, to being confined to a wheelchair. We both contacted the Covid virus toward the end of those years and had moved several times during the 36 years. But the last 20 were in the same home. 

John and I traveled a lot early in our marriage in the western side of the U.S. and in central america. We served on mission trips Mexico and Costa Rica. In my first marriage, I did not get to enjoy those kinds of things, and I really enjoyed the adventure and am grateful for the experiences. The last few years before John passed I stayed more at home rather than leave him alone,and become a 24 hour care taker. In reality I could see a decline in John's condition, but looking back, don't believe I was fully acknowledging the seriousness of it all. My energy was used up more each day. I tried to sleep whenever he did, and rest as much as possible. The reality of my lack of sleep all that time only came after he went to the hospital the last time.  Even today, six months later, I almost feel a bit guilty for  taking a nap whenever I want to, or stay up late if a good movie is on the tv. 

I had an opportunity to move to where my son and his family lived, and I took it. I felt really bold, I could handle change, I could deal with this I thought. I am not living in their house, but a separate home a few minutes away from them, my choice. But here  I am again, Covid is on the rampage, so masks and hand sanitizer are my best friends.  I have a patio where I can get a tan, and a nice garden space and place for my companion, Libby  (my dog) to play. But doing things with friends is still out of the question. Everyone in church is sitting far apart and wearing masks. And I try to go the store early in the morning when the store is not so crowded.

A good way I have found to not think so much on my lack of socializing, is to call my many friends, some single, some married, and see how they are doing. And I like to sew and put items on my Etsy site. 

Just recently, I began to have some problems and symptoms were very evident that something in my body was doing something that was out of order for my age. So I made a quick call to my doctor and was referred to the next level of medical care and diagnosed with cancer. I am a 1A. Whoever heard of a 1A?  That just means that is just about the lowest level you can get and have cancer, I guess. Within a very short time, I was in the hospital for surgery and out the following day.  Those three little pills that were supposed to keep the pain gone for 3 days really worked. And I didn't have to take any of the other prescribed pills on the following days. That was great. You know the routine, rest a lot, walk as much as possible, don't lift over 10 lbs at a time, and worst of all, don't drive for 6 weeks.  I nearly freaked out when I found out I was glued back together. So I have worked hard to follow the rules. Oh yeah, drink a lot of water. 

Now I am scheduled to go to a higher level of doctor to see what he thinks about any future treatment.Just so you know, I don't think I could be so calm with all of this except for the fact that I put a lot of faith in the Lord, and could not cope so well without the knowledge that He is watching over me .  That does not mean that I don't cry once in a while, sometimes very unexpectedly, or seemingly no reason. I had a great doctor and I'm sure the next one is good at what he does, too. Either way, God is watching and is in control.

I know that my husband, as much as I miss him, is with the Lord, and he is totally healed. Also I am sure that he and the other friends we have lost in the past, along with family members are sitting at the table with the Lord and for that I am a little bit jealous, but my time will come one day.  I pray that each of you that reads this story, if you don't have a close relationship with God.that you ask Him into your heart, so that you will have that same peace that I have. May God give you peace and grace. Gael